Afternoon Respite

AFTERNOON RESPITE

By: Ian V. Martinez

27 September 2009

Oil Pastels on Paper

12x18 Inches

What was I to do on a Saturday? My sister was sending me sms asking for help. The water outside of her Cainta home was rising and her husband left to try to park their car on higher ground. She was begging me to call her, but none of my calls could get through. I told her it can't be that bad and that she should secure for herself and her 1 year old child water and provisions, shut off the electrical mains and stay on the second floor of her home.

It can't be that bad. Could it? I tried to reassure her by saying that she doesn't live downstream a dam. Water can't possibly make it into the second floor. That would be a major disaster if it did.

Her last text was hysterical. She said cars were floating outside her house.

The next few hours were tense. One by one, services went dead. First, cell signals were intermittent on both my cellular lines. Then the power went out. It didn't take long for running water to cease, then my land line telephone went dead and cellular services followed immediately afterwards. I was on my own. I tried leaving the subdivision to check on my father and gather some news on what may be happening. The car radio blurted out a confused cacophony of cries for help, reports on blocked roads, calls for emergency services, panic, anger, raw emotions from various radio stations.

I was trapped. Two roads leading out of our subdivision were impassable. People running on the side of the road were signaling drivers that water was waist deep up ahead. This can't be happening! I live in Antipolo and we're about 200 feet above sea level. I use to joke that if Antipolo floods, then it would be the end of the world for everyone living below us in Metro Manila.

The rain pelted heavily for the next few hours. I took stock of what I got: candles, drinking water, some measly provisions, melting ice cubes...

I was tempted to take my bike down to the valley, but decided it would be wiser to just stay put, feed my dog, and wait for the water to subside... perhaps later on in the evening. So, since I have to wait things out, I decided to work on some drawings and paintings. I wanted to prime a newly sanded canvas but I was out of primer. I felt like working in watercolor, but I needed new brushes and buying supplies is out of the question.

I turned up the car's radio in the garage and monitored the events going on around me. As I listened, I did some underpainting on my "Kubol" piece, but then ran out of places to apply paint. I was still waiting for some materials for reference and I couldn't proceed until I know how a natural fiber “banig” curled on the corners... heck, I'm not really sure how the painting should look like in its entirety at the moment.

The next day, I was still incommunicado, cellular services were still down, phone lines were still dead, there were no electricity, water or news of my sister, nephew and father.

I again drove out and while traffic was tight, I learned that the roads at junction were still impassable, and that Sumulong Highway on the other side of the mountain was blocked by a landslide near Padi's. I tried making my way down through Cogeo but also learned that Marcos Highway was still waist-deep in water.

I had no recourse but to turn back. It was then that I noticed how the asphalt on the roads were peeled off in many places, and how houses situated near dips on the roads were apparently inundated by flood water. I passed a school with large mounds of earth on its yard – apparently the scene of a landslide; I hope no one was hurt.

People had began clearing the roads and sidewalks even while the rain still poured. There were places where tell-tale sign on walls of flood water levels showed water rising 5 feet deep, and this was in Antipolo! The creeks carrying water to Hinulugang Taktak Falls, devastated homes that lined its banks and damaged roads that passed above it.

I was imagining my sister holed up on the second floor of her home with her kid. I hope they have water.

I returned home, turned on and up the car's radio once again and worked on “Afternoon Respite”.

I was not in the frame of mind to want to work on something that I will have to think about. I wasn't in the frame of mind to follow strong lines, or be consistent with my strokes. I just wanted to rub the medium in, and the first thing I grabbed was a box of oil pastels.

I wanted an uncomplicated subject, and something that will remind me of a sunny uneventfully warm afternoon. I wanted something that will mask the feeling of helplessness, so I hid all that with my thoughtless strokes.

Runnaway Sketch

I was meaning to "see" how this composition would look like in color before I start thinking how to paint it in oil. I wanted to test the idea in watercolor, which has the added bonus of perhaps loosening the rigidity in my strokes and encourage spontaneity.

But, I then started fiddling with the image using Photoshop, applying "washes" here and there to get the feel of the image. I soon got carried away and ended up with the colored image above.

I still intend to paint in watercolor the drawing below, if only as an exercise.

I'm fighting the temptation in planning the oil version of this. I have so many pending works to do that putting this painting on my agenda would only make me lose my focus again.

But that Kimono is really getting the better of me.

Happiness, White Caps in the Horizon

I spent the long weekend in Masbate, staying in Bituon Beach Resort, located South East of Masbate Port, then at Palani Beach located at the Municipality of Balud, located at the South-Western tip of the island, then finally at Brgy. Nipa, Palanas Municipality, located East of the Island.

Each corner of the island I visited offered vast fine sand beaches, and an ocean so calm that I could feel my heartbeat as I floated on my back, as my face took in the sun, and my mind took in the rhythm of this quiet sanctuary.

I am a happier person now, and I have a need to paint it.

Sufficiently Destroyed

As I worked on this image, I became agitated by its progress. It just wasn't doing anything for me. It was reflecting what I thought would be acceptable to others, not what I thought how it should be.

Then I came to reflect on some fond memories by going through old photographs in my computer of pictures of Mt. Guiting-Guiting, Mt. Tapulao before it was opened up for mining (again) and development, Mt. Ugo, Cutad Cove, Anawangin Cove, much much older photos of other mountains, landscapes and seascapes to remind me of days long gone. I once again saw faces, smiles and eyes of people I have not seen for years, but once, twice or too many times have shared laughter with in the past. I was reminded of people I haven't thought of for a while. These reflections brought with it pangs of regret in my chest.

I am everything my memories had made me to be. When I begin to forget, wont I forget me? The drawing did not matter anymore. I did not care what form I was shading in. I just needed to bury the tip of my lead deep and hard enough and as permanently as I could onto this piece of paper. If I was to fade, I will try to make sure that this simple drawing wont.

Drawings naman...

Wala akong magawa dahil yung painting na ginagawa ko e basa pa, at yung tuyo e 'di ko pa feel gawin, kaya drawing muna ako.

It is disturbing to sometimes feel that I have such a full past to draw from, while feeling as if I'm living a hollow present. It does not do justice to the people who love me today.

I always try to remind myself that all these are just feelings - sometimes fully disjoint to realities I'm living. It's like feeling down on Christmas - it's just not reasonable.

(This image... it's too tame. It needs to be broken to match what I have in mind... Let me work on this a little bit more.)

Until then, this...

I've asked Ms. Bernz to repose for a painting I had in mind which I've also rendered before in watercolor titled In Retrospect. I've changed my mind on the gesture and I intend to expand the coverage of the frame, hence I will need to revisit the site and reshoot the landscape as the sun goes down... again. I'd like to paint on-the-spot but the place is infested with mosquitos. I'm not that keen in catching dengue, mind you.

I've also asked Jowein and Mark to pose for another painting I have in mind titled: The Mountaineers, and Inner Glow. I've got the concept down on paper, and I've started my exploratory sketches months ago. They are just perfect for it. Jowein has that distinct oriental face that is framed just the right way by her curly locks, while Mark has that angular face and body disposition that to me, goes hand in hand with the features of Jowein, and the scene I'm building up.

I need to capture that image soon. When people age, even by just a few months, certain features drastically change.

I'm not that good with painting just yet, but photography will preserve that idea and moment for me until such time that my skills can do justice to my concepts.

Well, until then, I have this pool scene painting to finish. It's becoming more complicated as I progress along.

My problem here is that when I planned it, I meant to put that large space where the woman will be "wanting" to swim out to. I've angled the woman to have viewers anticipate that she will most likely swim out towards the empty side of the pool. But, what I didn't anticipate is the effect of that empty space on overall aesthetics.

My mind tells me it's too empty, yet introducing elements there will defeat my intentions. I may have to think this through.

TAGOS SA YERO NG JEEP ANG TITIG MO HIJA

TAGOS SA YERO NG JEEP ANG TITIG MO HIJA
By: Ian V. Martinez

September 5, 2009

Oil on canvas
27.5 x 33.5 inches
Stretched canvas

There's just nothing more I can do with this. I just need to move on. I had the strangest feeling that unless I affix my signature on this piece, then I remain a prisoner of it.

Usually, completing a work comes with it a feeling of elation, but this time, what I felt was muted relief. After all those years with this face staring out at me from across the hallway, finally, I can begin ignoring it.

This piece is really a remnant of an unfinished past for me. I was just getting back to photography armed with a very low resolution vga camera from a Sony-Ericsson mobile phone, when a young girl sitting in front of me at the back of a commuter AUV (FX as what we would call it then) kept staring at me. I fidgeted, glared back, looked away, and the kid just wont break her stare, while her father who sat behind her seemed oblivious to it all.

After an uncomfortable while, I noticed the compositional quality with the sun lighting the girl from the side and her little body being framed by her father's rough casual attire.

It was an interesting sight because I saw the child squeezing into the protective embrace of her father and that seem to give her so much security as to stare at this large man in front of her, without any fear of reprisal.

I tool out my trusty white Sony-Ericsson, took a photo discretely, and went home feeling I got a wonderful shot of the scene.

But the image I got left much to be desired. As what can be expected from vga phone cameras, the picture taken is not worth putting to paper. I relegated the file somewhere in my computer with the intention of someday photographing something like that in the near future - when I have a better camera.

But some confounding idea crossed my mind and in no time at all, I had a stretched canvas in front of me, and an absolutely dreadful reference image to guide me.

It took a number of years before I finally found the confidence to complete this painting. It took so long that most of the tubes of paint I started with hardened inside their containers!

I've finally gotten this out of the way. I'm relieved.